Love That Makes People Happiest
Falling in love was Sturm und Drang: exhilarating at times, but also dangerous, perilous, and emotionally draining. Before I moved to Spain, my long-distance relationship was filled with agonising phone calls, unintelligible letters, and constant misunderstandings. I didn't need a social scientist with a Ph.D.—future me—to present scholarly evidence that the early stages of romantic passion can be fraught with unhappiness. For example, if I had been shown evidence that "destiny beliefs" about soul mates or love's destiny can predict low forgiveness when combined with attachment anxiety, I would have said, "Well, duh." Falling in love can be thrilling, but it isn't the key to happiness. You could say that falling in love is the start-up cost for happiness—an exhilarating but stressful stage that we must endure before we can get to the relationships that truly fulfil us. Passionate love The period of falling in love—often hijacks our brains, causing either...